My Days
""I was trying for years to get off antidepressants. Slowly and very gradually, under doctors supervision, I finally did last December. Euphoria was indescribable. I was looking to discover myself, who I am without the influence of medications. For so many years in my adulthood I took these pills; I wasn't sure who I have become. I was curious to find out the adult person I have become, the real me. I had so much energy for a few weeks, walking in the streets, simple joy of being alive and well. Then came the idea to describe these moods. Every day was different before, mostly grey. Then slowly things started changing for good. Red is my best days when energy is flowing, when things are happening, when I am happy. I am trying to have a positive attitude every day with the hope that day will turn red too. Sometimes it doesn't. Then I find the beauty of other colors/moods. Even grey is very pretty, nostalgic and a bit cold sometimes, but always beautiful. I am not sure how long I will mange without medications. My doctor and I are talking. Life happens, too, and is harder and harder to keep positive, to stay ""above water"". Thankfully paint and the urge to use it is there.""
-Aneliya Kostova
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